


HartLife: All the Coffee You'll Ever Need

by sashawiremarryme



Category: Our Fair City (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/M, Other characters are gonna come up as customers but there's too many to name, Slice of Life, also andrew is pan, and she (probably) won't die this time, don't worry he will still be with cassie, i know it doesn't make sense in this context but it's too cute to not do it, i love this show and it's ending so this is how i'm coping, i think this fandom needs more content so i'll make it myself, just fun coffee shop au, no big plot or anything, no in-universe reason will ever be given for andrew calling elizabeth 'mum'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashawiremarryme/pseuds/sashawiremarryme
Summary: Do you love the characters from Our Fair City? Do you want them to stop dying all damn the time? Do you like coffee shop aus?Then there's a slight chance you might enjoy this fanfiction!





	1. The Importance of Scheduling

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not emotionally ready for the end of this show so I'm writing fanfic to deal with it.  
> (Also, I'm Australian, we spell some things different to you Americans out there. Just a heads up)  
> Hope you enjoy!

Coffee. Truly the most distinguished drink. Originally invented by Sir Francis 'Starbucks' Coffee in the year 1971, it has been the fuel of humanity for eons. And no coffee is as illustrious or as fuelling as the coffee sold at HartLife: all the coffee you'll ever need. From high powered businesspeople to exhausted science students, any person that has ever tasted a HartLife coffee has never needed to visit another establishment that specialises in this solution-unless they are no longer able to afford this perfectly reasonably priced beverage, but I cannot imagine that has ever been an issue due to how reasonably priced this beverage is. Despite the average workers reliance on coffee, especially HartLife coffee, few ever stop to ponder or examine the lives of those incredibly replaceable minimum wage workers who work passionately and tirelessly to supply a bustling city with its least frowned upon addiction. And it is no wonder, most of these workers live an astonishingly monotonous existence. Nevertheless, examine these extraordinarily tedious lives we will, and where better to start than with waitress Elizabeth Rourke. Mrs Rourke seems to be dissatisfied with a decision made by HartLife management. Let us observe her and study how she addresses these concerns.

\---

"You've got to be kidding me" Elizabeth Rourke did a double take when she saw the roster for the next week, then a triple take, then a quadruple take (just to be sure) but there was no mistaking what she was seeing. Manager Davenport had rostered Herbert West and Emily Caligari together. Surely he wasn't that stupid. Herbert and Emily were both good baristas, even though they both had definitely produced some interesting beverages over the years, but they couldn't work together. The worst part, she was scheduled to work on the same day.

Maybe she could convince Andrew to cover for her that day. Elizabeth pulled out her phone. Andrew was working so he wasn't supposed to have his phone with him but he always seemed to conveniently forget that particular rule whenever it was just him and Herbert working. Actually now that she thought about it, Herbert seemed to forget that rule whenever it was just him and Andrew working as well. Oh well, there are more important matters at hand. She hoped he hadn't seen the roster yet.

Elizabeth: Hey Andrew, is there any chance that you could cover my shift on Saturday. I forgot to tell Davenport I needed the day off. Thank you…  
Andrew: soooooooo soooooorry mum i really want to spend the day with dr west and dr caligari but im busy  
E: Oh really? You're busy? Doing what?  
A: stuff  
A: important stuff  
E: Andrew, I swear to god if you don't cover this shift I am telling Davenport you were texting me during work  
A: what  
A: you wouldnt  
E: Try me  
A: wait no  
A: I really cant work that day  
E: Really? Why?  
A: im helping a guy from school with his science thing  
E: Oh, okay, I didn't realise. Just one more thing…  
A: yeah…  
E: Is he cute?  
A: MUM!  
A: kinda  
A: yeah  
A: (dont tell dr west or dr c theyll just laugh at me)  
E: No Andrew, they won't. Actually, Emily might, but Herbert won't. If anything he'll just offer him a free coffee.  
A: that might be worse  
A: cya mum  
E: Goodbye Andrew

Elizabeth put her phone away and sighed in frustration. No one was going to cover that shift, and why would they? The prospect of dealing with Herbert and Emily at the same time wasn't exactly an inviting one. She hoped she could keep them from murdering each other.

\---

Well, after a minor hiccup where it seemed as though Mrs Rourke believed that she knew better than her manager and was trying to circumvent Davenport's authority, she put aside these foolish delusions of competency and accepted her place within the corporate structure at HartLife. She really is an adequate member of this team. Now, watch her interact with the other members of her team as the leaves this fine establishment.

\---

Elizabeth left the back room where she had just retrieved her back from and walked through the café.  
"Elizabeth, my dear, is something wrong?" She looked over and saw Herbert watching her in concern. "You looked fine a minute ago when your shift ended but now you look absolutely agonised." She tried not to look at Andrew, who had just replaced her.  
"No, don't worry, I'm fine" she smiled weakly, "it's just been a long day."  
"Well not literally, today is the same length as any other day, except for when days are a different length because of daylight savings or leap seconds or…" he trialled off before he caught her eye and jumped back to reality. "Although I understand that you mean that in a figurative sense."  
"Don't worry, I know you do. I'll see you next week, okay?"  
"Oh, is the roster up? I don't suppose you happened to notice when I'm working did you?" Now Elizabeth really had to try and not look at Andrew.  
"Nope, I didn't check when you were working"  
"Oh kittens" Elizabeth didn't see Herbert much outside of work so she was never sure if that was his way of monitoring his language in front of customers or if he just spoke like that. "I guess I'll just find out when I leave, goodbye Elizabeth!" He called after her as she walked out of the coffee shop.

\---

Perhaps I was too soon to speak favourably of Mrs Rourke. Do not follow her example. Deception will only breed inefficiency. Be honest with your fellow workers, provided they are of equal or higher standing within your organisation. It is not only acceptable but sometimes necessary to lie to those who work under you. But, what becomes of Mrs Rourke and the rest of this motley staff? Find out next time as the story of our fair coffee shop continues.


	2. Chapter 2

Trepidation: a feeling of fear or anxiety about an event that may occur. Good employees of the company rarely experience this sensation as they find comfort in the knowledge that their superiors have taken every step, no matter how unreasonable, to ensure that there will be no unfortunate incidents. As long as all instructions are followed, no harm will come. However, those employees that do not have faith in the company may feel a sense of unease that their compliant counterparts do not. Elizabeth Rourke is one such employee. This is why she was experiencing trepidation when she arrived for the shift she shared with Dr Herbert West and Dr Emily Caligari. This sensation did not abate as the majority of the day passed without incident; it only grew stronger when the coffee shop was emptied of customers in the middle of the day as they attempted to flee the literal and metaphorical storm that was brewing.

\---

"Davenport says we can't close the store early, 'even if it's the storm of the century' he still thinks there's a chance customers might come in." Caligari yelled as she walked out of the back room where she had called Davenport from. "This is ridiculous, doesn't he realise he's going to lose money from this?"

"Now Emily, don't get upset about what you can't change, just enjoy the show." Herbert said from his perch against the window, where he had been watching the first sheets of lightning appearing in the distance, entranced. 

"West, I would love to, " Elizabeth nearly winced at the amount of sarcasm she had managed to pour into the word 'love', "but I have to get home." She marched towards the door, disregarding the instruction that she herself had delivered. As she reached out her hand towards the door handle a loud cracking sound shocked the room and even managed to send Herbert recoiling away from the rattling window. The trio watched as a tree branch flew past the window, buffeted by the gale outside. Caligari slowly moved her hand away from the door. "On second thought," she cleared her throat, "it is possible... that remaining here is safer." She coughed.

\---

Dear readers, watch how Dr Caligari recognised the mistake she was about to make and stopped herself before she placed anybody at risk. She identified the dangers posed by the outside and decided to consider the wisdom offered by her manager on behalf of the company, and remained in the safe arms of HartLife.

\---

“I don’t see what you’re so concerned about,” Herbert said as he surveyed the stocks of food that would now go unsold, “they’re just going to throw it all out anyway. What difference does it make if we eat it, really?”

“Yes, they throw it out, into a locked bin so people can’t take it. They clearly don’t want people to eat it unless they pay for it.” Herbert sighed at her insistence that the rules were to be followed. He grabbed two muffins, took a bite out of one and offered her the other. She refused.

“Fine, if you’re going to be that way I’ll see if Emily wants one.” He looked around the room confused. “Where is she? She didn’t go running off into the storm after all that, did she?”

“I think she’s in the back room,” Elizabeth replied, “probably to get away from you.”

“I can’t imagine why she would want that.” He said as he slipped into the back room. His entrance had gone unnoticed by Emily. She was turned away from the door and speaking in hushed tones to her phone.

“Is he okay?” She paused as the other person responded. “That’s good. I… I really am sorry about this. See you soon.” She hung up.

“Ahh, Emily—”

“West!” She jumped and spun around at the sound of his voice. “How long were you standing there?!” She tried to subtly shove her phone into her pocket.

“I just walked in,” he remembered why he had come to find her, “did you want a muffin?” he held one out to her.

“Is there one somebody hasn’t taken a bite out of?”

Herbert looked down and saw that he offered her the wrong muffin. “Well, if you insist.” He held out the other one. She grabbed it and started to eat it. “Is everything alright?” He asked slowly, trying to not anger her.

“I thought you ‘just walked in,’” she replied, coldly.

“I did, you looked upset.” He attempted to hide the fact that he had heard the end of her conversation.

“I’m fine.” She pushed past him into the café itself. He waited for a moment, wondering if he should pursue the matter before deciding against it. He didn’t actually know Emily that well, they had only worked together once before and it hadn’t exactly gone swimmingly. Davenport quickly decided that it would be best if they didn’t work together. Until today, at least. He followed her back to where she and Elizabeth were watching the windows.

Then the lights went out.

“Oh dear”

\---

What will these less-than-model employees do now? Will they continue stealing company stock? Who was Dr Emily Caligari calling? Find out next time as the story of our fair coffeeshop continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I meant to add a chapter to this weeks ago but then life got super busy and I just didn't have the time to write it.  
> Better late than never (I guess)!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is my first attempt at writing fanfic (ever) so any advice you have is appreciated.  
> Sorry for any bad grammar, this was written by a dumb kid in high school with pretty average English marks. A dumb kid who starting writing this instead of studying for an English test.  
> 


End file.
